Mudpies

Several weeks ago, my husband and I were given the opportunity to take our 3 beautiful foster daughters to Indiana Beach Amusement Resort for the day. Our oldest daughter who was 3-years-old at the time loved to know what different things were coming up in her schedule and I was very excited to tell her about the fun day we were going to have. So, I started explaining: "We are going to drive for a little while..." "There will be special rides to ride and special places to go..." Let's be honest, it's actually a little harder to explain an amusement park to a 3-year-old than I had anticipated! However, my voice and facial expressions definitely conveyed to her how excited I was to take her there. After a few minutes of my stumbling explanations, she began talking very excitedly: "We will get to ride the train!" "Will we see the dinosaur?" "I love riding the horses!" I suddenly realized that my rather bumbling explanation of Indiana Beach had led her to believe that we were taking a second trip to the Indiana Children's Museum. (We had just been there a few weeks previous.) I hurried to explain, "No, we aren't going there, but we are going to a different really fun place!" What happened next came as a complete shock to me. My adorable, excited little girl absolutely melted down. She threw a fit! I'm talking about a fall down on the floor, kicking, screaming, sobbing, knock-down-drag-out temper tantrum! I stood there watching her with my mouth hanging open in shock and disbelief. Why didn't she understand? Didn't she know that there is more than one really fun place to spend the day? Didn't she know that I, as her mother, would not be so excited to take her to a place that was not fun?

We dealt with the temper tantrum, packed up the car, and had an absolutely fantastic day at the amusement park. On the way home, I turned around to see that all three of my precious girls had fallen asleep. It was one of those sticky, sweaty, absolutely worn out, sleeping with their heads at awkward angles in their car seats types of sleep. I smiled and started flipping through the pictures on my phone of all the wonderful fun we had experienced that day. I started thanking God for all the blessings in my life, and then it hit me. I am exactly like my daughter. Here I sit thanking God for my wonderful husband, daughters, health, home, church family, etc, yet when I really look at each of those things I begin to realize something. If I had been in control of my own life, I would have missed out on all these precious blessings. If God had given in to my "temper tantrums," arguing, and stalling tactics, I would have missed out on His wonderful, perfect plan for my life.

See, I planned to get married young (preferably 19) to a typical "North Idaho" man. (You know, guns, knives, hunting, hiking, truck-driving, etc.) I would stay close to home and my amazing family while raising the 9 (or 19) children that I would give birth to, one (or maybe two) at a time. I would live out in the country with some acreage and wonderful view of the majestic mountains, trees, and lakes that make up northern Idaho. I had a perfect picture of what a "good, fun life" looked like and I did my best to get it. Thankfully, I am not actually in control of my life and my great and mighty God had much better plans for me! I am married to a city-boy, NASCAR-loving, Indiana abiding, entrepreneur-minded, gentle, wonderful, wonderful man. I have 3 beautiful foster daughters who arrived in my home last December...all at once. My current good health is due to the fact that I have had a hysterectomy and will never give birth to a biological child. I live in a gorgeous, old farmhouse...right off of 18th St in downtown Lafayette. My view consists of other homes, people, streets, cars, and...cornfields. My current blessed state has almost no resemblance to the plans I had made and I am so very, very thankful. There was nothing wrong with my plans/desires. The Indiana Children's Museum is a fantastic place to re-visit and we plan to do so often! But oh, the things I would've missed out on! How short-sighted and small were my plans and dreams! Didn't I know that there was more than one good way to live a life? Didn't I know that God, as my Father, would not lead me to a place that was not good?

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about...when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mudpies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."          

~ C.S. Lewis