Adoption

Three months. It has been three months since the day we adopted our daughters. I have tried to write this post multiple times and it just seems like I can’t. For some reason, these memories are too precious, too sacred to write about with any structure or finesse. I’ve tried to write it as a story, as a cohesive thought, or even with poetic lyrics, but I just can’t. I can’t pull these precious, precious memories together with any type of structure or flow. These memories are stuck in my mind as fragments that are wrapped in light. Like my wedding day. Too precious to try to string together. Beautiful moments that are frozen as stills in my memory.

So, you all get to view the unfiltered, gorgeous, fragmented, mess of beautiful memories that represent our adoption day. I want these memories to be documented and I truly hope they will be a blessing, an encouragement, or a reminder to you all of your own precious memories. Enjoy.

I remember that my parents were here. In town. All the way from Idaho. Because adopting from foster care is a crazy, beautiful mess, we didn’t know our exact date until after their plane tickets were purchased. We had just given it our best guess and prayed God would work it all out. He did.

I remember my little brother was here, too. My girls just love “Uncle.” 

I remember friends: Joey and Cara, Drake and Sarah, coming over the weekend before the adoption to help fix our yard up and clean our house.
I remember our neighbor, Dustin, bringing over a stump grinder to help take out the old, ugly bushes that were in front of our house.

I remember sitting in the living room at my sewing machine that morning. My wet hair was hanging down my back. I was doing little bits of mending or altering to make our outfits "just right. The girls were running around helping Grandma and Grandpa "hide" the clutter that had accumulated.

I remember Justin calling. I remember him teasing and laughing as he told me that it was time for me to stop whatever I was doing to go get ready. He didn't want me to be stressed or running late. He knew these pictures would be some of the most precious we owned. He wanted me to smile genuinely without concern.

Grandpa Kim and Grandma Tina were there, too. There to rejoice with us. And, so was Aunty Jordan. How precious to have family come to celebrate with us!

I remember that...even though my hubby had me start getting ready waaaaaaaaaay earlier than I thought was necessary... we still had to stop at Burger King for lunch. 

I remember that I cried the ENTIRE way to the courthouse. My girls kept asking what was wrong and I just said "I was so happy." To this day, Norra still tells everyone who asks about her adoption day that I cried because I was "so happy."

I remember being nervous. The words "formal proceeding" were used very frequently when speaking of our adoption. I had visions of sitting in a courtroom with 3 little girls, a strict judge and procedure, and trying to keep the girls from wiggling or talking. I imagined much stress.

I remember our lawyer. He reminded me of my dad. He was so excited for us and so careful to take good care of us.

I remember that the judge smiled. He chuckled when he asked Justin and I to raise our right hands to be sworn in and all the girls raised their hands as well. He gave the girls suckers, and he told us that this kind of proceeding was a bright spot in his week. He said that in a world where his job was to require people to fulfill their responsibilities, it was a blessing to meet a couple who were voluntarily adding to their responsibility.

He said that "without hesitation" the courts were granting our request to adopt.

I remember Annie Hill being there to document our adoption. I remember how relieved I was when I saw her walking down the hall towards us. I was still nervous about the whole proceeding, but I was relieved because I knew we would have good pictures!

I remember Annie snapping this shot right before the judge reminded us that no photos could be taken during the formal court proceedings.

I remember the judge asking our family and DCS workers if they had anything to add before he ruled. I remember our family case mangers, our parents, and my brother all sharing about the love and care they had seen in our family. About their excitement that this day had come. About how happy we were to all become a family.

I remember that, when I was asked to state my full name, I said, "Lydia Dorice Peabody." I remember the whole room pausing and then my sweet husband saying, "Wait, Lydia, that's not right!"

I remember that our CASA was there. The sweet, "grandma" figure who had popped in on us unexpected many times the previous 20 months. The one who had always loved how we "let our kids be kids" and how "real" our family was. (This may have just been a nice way of saying that our house was always on the messy side, but it always encouraged me anyways!!)

I remember that our current family case managers were there.

I also remember that our first family case manager was there. This was extra special because she was the one who introduced us to our daughters. The one who pushed our license through early so that we could take this special placement. The one who asked if we would consider taking a placement of 3 little girls.

I remember the judge mentioning that "now I definitely had the big family I always wanted" and I remember chuckling to myself thinking that this was just the begining!!

I remember taking pictures outside the courthouse. It was so surreal to take pictures knowing that we were finally a forever family!!

Then, we re-enacted a picture we had taken for our 2 year anniversary. So fun to see how the kids had grown!!

It was also extra fun to kiss my hubby that day. We hadn't "made a family" in the traditional sense, but a family we were!!

I remember sitting down in the car after the adoption. After taking pictures. I remember suddenly feeling absolutely, completely exhausted. 

I remember that when we got home, I asked my parents and hubby if I could just go lie down. Then I remember waking up and coming downstairs to find them all sleeping in our living room. Adoptions are exhausting!

I remember trying to take pictures of the girls on the couch before we left...

And I remember trying to take pictures of the girls on the bench before the adoption proceedings...






...And I remember Annie finally getting a good picture of all of them!

I remember all the people who came to our open house that evening. I remember just standing their in our dining room with this giant swarm of people all around, all through the house, filling the back yard. I remember not knowing what to think or how to process it all. How in the world was it possible that we had been so blessed.

I remember all the precious gifts that were given to our family and to our girls. So much thoughtfulness, time, and care was put into many of those gifts!

And, I remember lying awake that night. Crying. Just remembering. The roller-coaster was finally over. We are a family. 

Forever.