Worn

“I'm tired I'm worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes

I've let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm to weak

Life just won't let up

And I know that You can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise from ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Cause I'm worn”

 

It seems these days that this is the song my heart is singing. The world is broken. Hearts are hurting. Innocent children suffer. Memories bring shame and pain. Sleep is not a place of rest. Fear seeks a foothold. Hiding seems best.

 

And yet, although all of this is one reality in my life, it is not the only reality. The true cry of this song is one that is filled with the hope of the surety of God’s promises. God’s promises that redemption will win. God’s promises that songs can rise from ashes. God’s promises that dead can be reborn. God’s promises that the struggle will end.

“...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death…”   

~Philippians 3:10

A wise and godly woman once read this verse to me. She told me that we cannot really know Christ until we have not only known Him through the power of His resurrection, but in the fellowship of His suffering. She said that just like precious jewels glimmer most beautifully against a black backdrop, so the power of Christ’s resurrection is reflected in full splendor against the backdrop of His suffering.

And so, while my heart yearns for the end of the struggle, for the redemption, and for the final resurrection, it is also resting in the precious fellowship with my Savior that can only be found in suffering. There is a certain and wonderful joy in saying the words “I’m worn,” as it is at the end of myself that I see the grace of my God in full view.

“...that I may know Him…”